A family is having Christmas dinner when the son asked, "Dad, are all boobies the same?"
The father said, "Well son, when a woman is in her twenties, the boobs are like melons: round and firm. When they're in their thirties and forties, the boobs become more like pears: just a little out of shape but still somewhat firm. But when they're in their fifties and sixties, they become onions."
"Onions?" the son asked.
"Yes, when you look at them, you want to cry."
The mother got upset, but then the daughter asked, "Mom, are all willies the same?"
The mother answered, "Well honey, when a man is in his twenties, it is like a mighty oak tree: big and hard. When they're in their thirties and forties it is more like a birch: somewhat big, but a little flexible. But when they're in their fifties and sixties, it becomes a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?" the daughter asked.
"Yes, it's dead at the root, and the balls are just there for decoration."
