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1. If you fall hopelessly in love with a woman with children, it could be a wonderful event. But if the woman has the children referring to you as "Uncle" or "Aunt" rest assured you're not even going to make it to first base. You'll spend a lot of time and money, going to dinners, on vacations, lugging furniture, fixing cars, playing taxi, and more. Hope you appreciate it when she says: "Children, say thank you to Uncle Morris or Aunt Terry."

2. A "Platonic" relationship is what two people have until something better comes along. "Platonic" is a 70 and 80's word anyway. Just toss it out of the dictionary.

3. How strong is your friendship? Sex brings us to the brink of ecstasy. It feels great with unmatched pleasure. If your friendship cannot survive a night of sex, then your friendship was never as strong as you both thought it to be.

4. Never ever run down on yourself while you're with your lover. Never say something like, "Gee honey, I looked in the mirror today. I look so old and flabby lately. I could sure use a compliment." You may just hear the response: "Well, you have great eyesight."

5. Blowjobs are very sensual and highly personal. As you perform, keep in the frontal part of your mind: the shape, the length, and the girth. And always keep one thought on the back-burners of your mind: "Is this thing going to fit in my ass?"

6. Hit the lottery? Got millions now? You could probably surround yourself 24 hours a day with the most beautiful men and women in the world. Of course, family and friends will tell you: "They're just using you." Your logical response should be: "So what."

7. We know this sounds like the same old same old, but don't send flowers only on special occasions. Be spontaneous.

8. Nothing brings out more warm and loving sighs than an elderly couple holding hands. We should all have that goal.

10. Eight out of ten married couples we talked to, said if they could do it all over again they would never have the big wedding bash they had. They cost a lot of money which they wish they had now. Five out of those eight said they'd prefer to get married while on a cruise with family and close friends.

11. Be extremely cautious when making arrangements to meet a possible lover from a "Bi-Moms" chatroom. You may be chatting with a chubby teenage boy posing as a hot but bored mother of four.

12. Write an explicit, sexy letter to yourself, and then send it to your lover the next day.